A scene from the evil chapter 12. Which nobody, including me, can figure out how the hell to get onto paper. Cut the artist some slack, that's not what I look like, but somebody can't paint faces.
Erk. Um. What if I can only do it when I'm angry? Or that's when it works best anyway. And what if when I'm mad is when I reeeeally really want to do it?
Besides. Mad is good. Mad blasts the fuck out of speritu. I would be dead twenty times over if I couldn't get mad.
Sorry for the delay in replying... I, or shall I say we, have been really exhausted all the time lately.
D: Maybe your circumstances are different from ours. We try to avoid getting emotionally carried away, because that is when we can lose control over our powers and then they can become particularly damaging and then harm people and things we didn't mean to harm. We've come to see it as something to be used in self-defense only.
But you're right--being mad is what makes the powers all the more effective! That's when they come out!
I guess - I've not used it except in self-defense. So I've never had to look at what I've done and think how terrible it was.
Well. That's not really true. But it didn't have anything to do with fire magic. It was just me being.... stupid, I guess. But I didn't think so at the time. I was only trying to keep everyone safe. I'm not even really sure how it happened, but my son ended up seeing some things I really didn't want him to see. Stuff a four-year-old shouldn't have to think about. I don't think he remembers, and I'm not going to remind him, but it's my fault for going to a place where bad things could happen.
And I guess it's not true that I've only used fire in self-defense either. I play with it, and sometimes I use it for stupid everyday things like starting the cookfire going.
It's ok if you don't answer right away. What's going on that's making you so tired?
Avery: I've been in the *looks at what I've done* "Oh, how terrible!" position myself. =(
Deborah: As a mom, I understand the guilt and questions that must linger in your head after feeling like you put your child through something you shouldn't have.
About the tiredness, our "creator" has not been in very good health lately. She has been sleeping a lot and barely able to concentrate while awake. She blames it on her weight. I keep telling her she needs to exercise more and do something about her blood sugar, but she is having a hard time battling the fatigue. I've also suggested taking cohosh and cinnamon, to no avail.
Um, this probably isn't the best place for secrets that bad. Anyone can come and read it if they want to. Maybe some other place when there's more privacy.
It really really sucks though, knowing you've fucked up and there's nothing you can do to fix it.
Deborah - Oh, Pyraxis has that happen once, but it was 'cause of eczema and fucked up... what do you call it? Cortisol. Yeah. The chemical that gets used up if you're on edge for too long.
Was this the result of stress? I've noticed that I've been fatigued after getting extremely stressed out or awake too long. Sometimes I'm up all night because of my job.
Cohoshes are herbs that help with things like your hormones, menstrual cycle, and hot flashes. Actually, there has been research against their effectiveness against hot flashes lately, but I still believe in these herbs for other uses.
Yeah I guess you'd call it stress. She was crashed out for months. She went "running" anyway but it was a lot of the time just walking 'cause it was all she could do to get out the door.
'Course you're gonna get fatigued if you're extremely stressed out and awake too long. That's what the body does. Or it crashes out in some other way. Something just snaps, and if it doesn't, your body makes it happen by making you clumsy and have an accident, or fuck your immune system till you catch a disease, or something. For me I got - bit - and got sick from poison.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2009-06-25 01:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-25 04:44 pm (UTC)Besides. Mad is good. Mad blasts the fuck out of speritu. I would be dead twenty times over if I couldn't get mad.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 03:41 am (UTC)D: Maybe your circumstances are different from ours. We try to avoid getting emotionally carried away, because that is when we can lose control over our powers and then they can become particularly damaging and then harm people and things we didn't mean to harm. We've come to see it as something to be used in self-defense only.
But you're right--being mad is what makes the powers all the more effective! That's when they come out!
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 04:03 am (UTC)Well. That's not really true. But it didn't have anything to do with fire magic. It was just me being.... stupid, I guess. But I didn't think so at the time. I was only trying to keep everyone safe. I'm not even really sure how it happened, but my son ended up seeing some things I really didn't want him to see. Stuff a four-year-old shouldn't have to think about. I don't think he remembers, and I'm not going to remind him, but it's my fault for going to a place where bad things could happen.
And I guess it's not true that I've only used fire in self-defense either. I play with it, and sometimes I use it for stupid everyday things like starting the cookfire going.
It's ok if you don't answer right away. What's going on that's making you so tired?
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 04:39 am (UTC)Deborah: As a mom, I understand the guilt and questions that must linger in your head after feeling like you put your child through something you shouldn't have.
About the tiredness, our "creator" has not been in very good health lately. She has been sleeping a lot and barely able to concentrate while awake. She blames it on her weight. I keep telling her she needs to exercise more and do something about her blood sugar, but she is having a hard time battling the fatigue. I've also suggested taking cohosh and cinnamon, to no avail.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 05:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 05:17 am (UTC)It really really sucks though, knowing you've fucked up and there's nothing you can do to fix it.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 03:35 pm (UTC)I need a Deborah icon.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 05:14 am (UTC)What's cohosh?
no subject
Date: 2009-06-28 03:33 pm (UTC)Cohoshes are herbs that help with things like your hormones, menstrual cycle, and hot flashes. Actually, there has been research against their effectiveness against hot flashes lately, but I still believe in these herbs for other uses.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 04:18 pm (UTC)'Course you're gonna get fatigued if you're extremely stressed out and awake too long. That's what the body does. Or it crashes out in some other way. Something just snaps, and if it doesn't, your body makes it happen by making you clumsy and have an accident, or fuck your immune system till you catch a disease, or something. For me I got - bit - and got sick from poison.