Modern attitudes to conflict

[pyraxis]

OMG.

He's taken the things I've been theorizing but thought I was alone and haven't been able to talk about, and he's put brilliant words to them. This is it!

Marc MacYoung, "Conflict: the 21st Century Taboo":
Current dogma is that conflict is bad. Physical violence is viewed as evil, abhorrent, traumatic, out of control and something that must socially engineered out of existence by policies, laws and legal retribution.

And yes we intentionally used the word 'dogma.' Much of what are being promoted as unquestionable 'truths' on these subjects are not only unproven, but in many instances demonstrably false (e.g. "Violence never solved anything"). Offering a different point of view is risky. Daring to question the veracity of popular 'truths' about violence is often an invitation to a tirade worthy of a religious fanatic.

At Conflict Communications we contend popular denial, condemnation and ignorance don't protect people from the trauma of conflict and violence. They instead leave people vulnerable and more traumatized. Simply stated, teaching abstinence does not instill coping skills regarding a normal human behavior.

(the rest of the article)

Just had to share that with somebody, while I'm sitting here all elated that anti-violence neurosis really, truly, is wrong. And there's a logical case for it.

Comments

[yonjuunana.livejournal.com]

Huh, this is interesting.

Just found this article on the site: http://www.conflictcommunications.com/conflictcycle.htm and I am really liking it. Simple way of putting into words something that I had been vaguely aware of on some level but not really understood yet. I think I've had a lot of fear and difficulty dealing with conflict because I'm so used to it flying out of the cycle in bad directions without getting resolved... but if it follows the cycle, it seems like it could be a generally healthy/productive thing.

[tigerweave.livejournal.com]

's a good article. Haven't read any of that site. It is fairly new. I should huh?!
I think I know the nononsense one off by heart (but they do keep adding to it!)
Rory Miller is pretty awesomely insightful as well as Marc.
I happen to agree btw, with the premise. And conflict resolution skills are barely considered or taught, and if they are they never go further than verbal conflict.

Shit, I never asked onlist for a Self defence course. Barely been there. When are you gonna be able to post? Still want me to do it for you?

[baaing-tree.livejournal.com]

I think there's a difference between nonviolent conflict resolution and nonviolent conflict AVOIDANCE. Equating violence with conflict is a problematic assumption, I think.

--Rogan

[harlotbug3.livejournal.com]

That was a refreshing read. Thank you. I'm sure my friends over at http://twitter.com/ChurchofSatan would enjoy it too.

The interesting part about the comparison to sex as a 'former' taboo is that the segment of the populace that still considers sex a taboo is NOT the one associated with pacifism.

[jaywalkermaybe.livejournal.com]

hmm. i agree with much of what the article says, but i'm having a hard time seeing that violence is taboo. i live in a world where large scale violence between nations is promoted at least as much as abhorred, and conflict is meant to be resolved by by an over-ritualised and prohibitively expensive process which exacerbates the problem by pretending that there are only 2 possible points-of-view, one of which must be right, and the other wrong. i live in a world where conflict is out-of-control, same as the authors, bit i think that "violence is taboo" is an over-simplistic analysis of the causes at best.

it perhaps might be said that violence has come under state ownership and control, and that interpersonal conflict is marginalised and, as the authors say, abhorred rather than addressed.

it can definitely be said that modern humans lack the rituals for containing violence within reasonable bounds that other animals have. an observation also made by Erich Fromm, some decades back in "The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness"

Do read that book. I think you'll love it. :)

i woyld say , along with Fromm, that the problem goes deeper than denial of violence. More fundamentally. our culture denies, marginalises and suppresses our life-affirming insrtincts, which are bound to turn to violence, though being continually frustrated.

No, i don't mean sex lol. Read the book.