i do think it's sorta sad that it's so hard for people to talk about racial issues without having their ideas dismissed. doesn't matter what your ethnic background someone will dismiss what you have to say because of some stereotype.
and while it's not ok to pretend to be someone more "acceptable" with whoever you happen to be talking to about those issues, it is tempting. we've even been tempted to say we're native american because of a friend who has tribal affiliation insisting that she thinks we must have some kind of native heritage because of how we look(but also partly because much of the culture and history is so interesting and valuable to us, which is apparently rare among the natives she actually does know).
it's also very easy, as a white male(which i physically am), to feel like you are a boring person, and like your opinions and ideas are undervalued because you are in the majority. this does happen but there's nothing really to be done about it(other than move somewhere where you're the minority!). it's an odd thing, cause people of color often have their opinions excluded or ignored by the majority, but people in the majority have a different sort of issue with not really being able to stand out, and in modern discussions of race, there is a natural reversal. if you are a white male and have a good idea or really want to contribute to the dialogue you often can't because your motives are questioned. in addition you get the situation where white males have often marginalized anyone else's ideas so now theirs are. "a taste of their own medicine" whether it be deserved or not(both occur frequently).
i think the whole thing is a bit tragic. growing up we were always the odd person who broke the mold - only white person willing to play on the "black" little-league team(in a louisianan town where we got subjected to racism along with the team), only non-druggie who enjoyed associating with stoners or other outcasts. a member of all the "geeky" school clubs who was friends with people from the popular cliques, a christian(at the time) who was willing to be friends with pagans and atheists...
we see all of the wonderful persepectives that people have, and they overwhelm the flaws(which are also universal). we've even liked a few of the painfully racist people we've met in rural arkansas and hopefully with our words maybe tweaked their perspectives slightly. we certainly understand their fears better for having actually listened to them.
i just wish everyone was willing to put aside their differences and really. just. listen. sometimes it happens naturally for little bits of time, but often it takes big ridiculous things. like some guy causing an international uproar for pretending to be a gay syrian girl, to get people sitting down and thinking about how they think and feel, and talking about the personal why's behind all of their ideas.
overall we hope that maybe this situation will result in greater awareness of issues around the interaction of homosexuality, ethnicity, and religion.
it's discussions like this one on your journal-posting that make me think that those hopes we hold onto are actually justified!
on some level tho i see what you are saying and it does scare me because here i am: a bisexual girl who isn't willing to conform to the semi-acceptable "transgender" category that has been created in my society. i have actually had a transgender friend tell me that all this "plural identity" thing is just me trying to avoid coming to terms with my transgendered nature, and i wonder: where do i fit? must i either be a guy who has some issue that makes him act femme and has more than one person in his head(which is what some people think) or must i fit into the category of transgender in denial that my friend assigned me(because of her own past issues)?
i wish people would be less insistent that their preconceived notions applied to everyone else. maybe if we could do more of that then we would do a better job of helping each other deal with the problems each of us face, whether it be emotional, religious, psychological, political, or whatever. the key is to listen, and to care, no matter how hard to understand or unlike you the other person may be.
ethnicity, sexuality, religion, and communication
and while it's not ok to pretend to be someone more "acceptable" with whoever you happen to be talking to about those issues, it is tempting. we've even been tempted to say we're native american because of a friend who has tribal affiliation insisting that she thinks we must have some kind of native heritage because of how we look(but also partly because much of the culture and history is so interesting and valuable to us, which is apparently rare among the natives she actually does know).
it's also very easy, as a white male(which i physically am), to feel like you are a boring person, and like your opinions and ideas are undervalued because you are in the majority. this does happen but there's nothing really to be done about it(other than move somewhere where you're the minority!). it's an odd thing, cause people of color often have their opinions excluded or ignored by the majority, but people in the majority have a different sort of issue with not really being able to stand out, and in modern discussions of race, there is a natural reversal. if you are a white male and have a good idea or really want to contribute to the dialogue you often can't because your motives are questioned. in addition you get the situation where white males have often marginalized anyone else's ideas so now theirs are. "a taste of their own medicine" whether it be deserved or not(both occur frequently).
i think the whole thing is a bit tragic. growing up we were always the odd person who broke the mold - only white person willing to play on the "black" little-league team(in a louisianan town where we got subjected to racism along with the team), only non-druggie who enjoyed associating with stoners or other outcasts. a member of all the "geeky" school clubs who was friends with people from the popular cliques, a christian(at the time) who was willing to be friends with pagans and atheists...
we see all of the wonderful persepectives that people have, and they overwhelm the flaws(which are also universal). we've even liked a few of the painfully racist people we've met in rural arkansas and hopefully with our words maybe tweaked their perspectives slightly. we certainly understand their fears better for having actually listened to them.
i just wish everyone was willing to put aside their differences and really. just. listen. sometimes it happens naturally for little bits of time, but often it takes big ridiculous things. like some guy causing an international uproar for pretending to be a gay syrian girl, to get people sitting down and thinking about how they think and feel, and talking about the personal why's behind all of their ideas.
overall we hope that maybe this situation will result in greater awareness of issues around the interaction of homosexuality, ethnicity, and religion.
it's discussions like this one on your journal-posting that make me think that those hopes we hold onto are actually justified!
on some level tho i see what you are saying and it does scare me because here i am: a bisexual girl who isn't willing to conform to the semi-acceptable "transgender" category that has been created in my society. i have actually had a transgender friend tell me that all this "plural identity" thing is just me trying to avoid coming to terms with my transgendered nature, and i wonder: where do i fit? must i either be a guy who has some issue that makes him act femme and has more than one person in his head(which is what some people think) or must i fit into the category of transgender in denial that my friend assigned me(because of her own past issues)?
i wish people would be less insistent that their preconceived notions applied to everyone else. maybe if we could do more of that then we would do a better job of helping each other deal with the problems each of us face, whether it be emotional, religious, psychological, political, or whatever. the key is to listen, and to care, no matter how hard to understand or unlike you the other person may be.
~kat