Looks like you're not the only one who stumbled over the first two sentences. I probably need to change the order things happen, like having him hit the Run button in the first sentence and then let the reader see what's running. And (ack, I'm doing it here too) split it into shorter sentences to lose some of the and's.
it's the 6th grader trapped inside my head, but I snickered a bit at this Urgh, yes, that didn't even occur to me, but easy enough to use a different word.
The dialog and the actions don't seem to quite agree with this. Yeah, I think I need to lose the leaning.
the metaphor there between the creator's pride and defensiveness and parental pride and defensiveness. Cool, I didn't plan that at all. Frustrated parenting instinct? :P
Re: Edit #2
Looks like you're not the only one who stumbled over the first two sentences. I probably need to change the order things happen, like having him hit the Run button in the first sentence and then let the reader see what's running. And (ack, I'm doing it here too) split it into shorter sentences to lose some of the and's.
it's the 6th grader trapped inside my head, but I snickered a bit at this
Urgh, yes, that didn't even occur to me, but easy enough to use a different word.
The dialog and the actions don't seem to quite agree with this.
Yeah, I think I need to lose the leaning.
the metaphor there between the creator's pride and defensiveness and parental pride and defensiveness.
Cool, I didn't plan that at all. Frustrated parenting instinct? :P
Thanks again!